Before I lose my Sense of Reason
by October103
Summary: She's never planned on leaving Mystic Falls, much less the country. But going to Rome hadn't been an impulsive decision. He'd planted it there in her mind & even though it was a long shot, she hoped that he would be there. One-shot, "Klaroline"


**A/N: **_Hey everyone, so this is my first "Klaroline" story, I really hope you all enjoy it. I support them one hundred percent and I'm so glad the writer's have done something that really surprises us fans, but that we also really like. I do relalize that Klaus is a litte out of character, but we havn't really seen what he's like when he's in love. Well, we're kind of starting to, but you get me. Anyways, please review and let me know what you think. I know every person on the planet who writes fanfiction tells you to review, but they really do make us happy. Now, without further adu! The story!_

_Wait! Okay, so while reading the story, you should either listen to the song: I Should Go, by Levi Kreis or You're Beautiful, by Chester See. Either one will do (: or both. Thanks again everyone!_

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own The Vampire Diaries._

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><p>"And how long will you be staying for, ma'am?"<p>

I handed over my credit card, my expression blank, my heart, feeling as if it were dying all over again, "Just a few days; three."

The Grand Hotel Plaza employee smiled and swiped my card, charging me a, probably, indecent amount of money. Then again, I _had_ chosen a five star hotel in Rome, so I was really the only one to blame. I took back my credit card and accepted my room key, turning to pick up my luggage. Instead, another employee already had my bags in hand and was motioning me towards the elevator.

"Thank you." I mumbled. I followed him to the doors and then again to my room. I unlocked the door for him and he roamed inside, setting my bags on the bed and smiling before walking out again and shutting the door behind him before I could get the tip out of my pocket.

I sighed and set the cash down on the bedside table. I wondered idly what I was doing here. Never, had I planned on leaving Mystic Falls, much less the country. I never thought to come to Rome. I mean, every girl fantasized about going somewhere beautiful, experiencing a new culture without the restrictions of an authority figure, but… I suddenly craved someone… much older than myself.

And then I shoved that thought away. Because _he_ was off limits, he was the definition of the forbidden fruit and I'd never _really_ been much of a risk taker to begin with. I guess… I suppose taking an impulsive trip to Italy _was_ a bit of a risk, but… It hadn't actually been all that impulsive. _He'd _planted the idea in my head and it had always lingered in the back of my mind, waiting for me to take action. Of course, originally I'd imagined, fantasized even, taking this trip _with_ him, but I'd always known that it would never be a real possibility; not if I wanted to keep close the people that I loved.

I sighed again and sauntered into the bathroom, changing out of my plane ride clothes and dressing in something more appropriate for Rome and its beautiful weather; which left me in a white sun dress. I pulled my hair up messily, blonde tendrils dipping down around my face. I stared myself down in the mirror and tried, with every fiber in my being, to portray a genuine smile. I tried to look happy, to look like a teenage girl in Rome without overbearing parents; I tried to look like Miss Mystic Falls in all her glory.

I was unsuccessful, to say the least. There wasn't anything horrid enough to compare that fake smile to.

I stomped out of the bathroom and slammed the double doors shut behind me, eliciting a loud enough sound that it hurt my supernatural ears. I snatched my money from my handbag and stormed out of the hotel room.

It wasn't until I earned a few curious glances, that I realized _he_ was getting to me. He was making me angry and he wasn't even _here_. He wasn't allowed to have this much power over me. He wasn't allowed to control my emotions and get under my skin, he was. Not. Allowed.

I took a deep, steadying breath and forced myself to calm down. I was on a vacation from life, it would only be right of me to enjoy myself. So starting now, that was exactly what I planned on doing, even if it killed me.

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><p>I strode out of the hotel's front entrance and into the gardens that resided next to it. Stunningly beautiful flowers and limestone décor lined the cobblestone pathways and I made my way slowly, gazing at and making sure to commit everything to memory. The pinks and blues and yellows of some of the flowers literally took your breath away, gave the illusion that there was no ugly in the world. And to top off the beauty of it all, I came across a large stone fountain, a small angel on top, looking just like something that people dreamed about.<p>

I sat down slowly on a concrete bench and simply stared at the garden and all its inhabitants, living and not. There were few people around and I was silently thankful. Something this magnificent should only be experienced with a significant other or alone. And since I didn't have the former, I would gladly settle for the latter, because it was almost physically impossible to dwell on one's own problems when you were sitting in a place like this.

I spent hours on that bench, just looking, not thinking about anything important enough to recall later, but I soon craved more of the city and decided to depart with my new favorite place. I promised myself to come back many more times before departing Rome and then left quietly, in search of something specific.

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><p>In no time at all, I was approaching the Spanish Steps. I stopped when I realized there was a wedding taking place, right there on the gorgeous tourist attraction. It wasn't as if it was closed off, but I stayed back anyways, viewing from a distance. I could feel the smile touch my lips as I watched the bride throw her arms around her groom and kiss him like it was their last day on earth. Envy boiled in my stomach, but I shoved away the ugly emotion, deciding to be nothing but happy for these strangers. And soon after the 'I do's' and the tossing of the bouquet, most of the crowd began to disperse and I made my way over to where they'd been. I stopped right in front of the first step and took a breath.<p>

Slowly, I lifted my foot and stepped up and up and up until I was about midway. It was one thing to be in Italy, but to be in a place like this, so famous and romanticized, it felt good. I took selfish satisfaction in knowing that nobody from Mystic Falls had done what I was doing now.

I sat down gently and rested my head against my closed fist, staring out at all the people dotting the streets. It wasn't overly crowded, but I wouldn't go as far to say that there weren't a lot of people out. Down below, I saw a boy sitting on the Fontana della Barcaccia, a sketch pad on his lap, a pencil in hand. He was so focused, so concentrated. Every now and then he'd glance up and then back down again at his paper. I followed his gaze when he looked up again and spotted his muse. A girl, around his age, was sitting on a bench by herself, reading a thick book. Even from here, I saw the way his eyes analyzed every detail of her person, his eyes that were filled with such need, so much desire, it made my own heart ache.

For a moment, I pictured _him_ in the boy's place; sitting there, sketching. For a while after he'd shown me his paintings and his drawings, I'd tried to imagine what exactly he looked like while doing them. Did he have as much concentration and focus as the boy down by the fountain? Did he bite the inside of his lip? How did he hold his pencil? Was he right handed or left handed?

And then I would shove away all thoughts surrounding him, because he was a disease. He got under your skin and infected you, so you could think of nothing else besides your sickness.

I sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day and looked away from the boy. I leaned back and laid down, until I was staring up at the sky. I could see the tops of cathedrals in my peripherals, but stayed focused on the clouds. I slipped my arms behind my head and soon, my eyes began to drift close. The flight had been long, but more than that, I hadn't slept the night before I left. I hadn't been asleep in over twenty-four hours. It was safe to say that dozing off for a while felt great.

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><p>When I woke, the sun was just above the horizon and almost everyone had disappeared. There were only a few stragglers left. I did notice that the young boy was still sitting on the fountain, his sketch pad abandoned by his side. He was listening to an iPod of his own, his head tilted back, staring at the sky as I had been before falling asleep.<p>

I smiled and made my way down the steps, intent on getting back to my hotel room and taking a long needed, hot bath. Just the thought gave me chills and the corner of my lips tugged up in a smile. Even if I was partly broken inside, I was thankful that there were small things in life that still made me smile.

On my way past the Fontana della Barcaccia, the young boy who I'd thought I'd been watching inconspicuously, stopped me and smiled, getting to his feet.

I smiled back at him and waited as he reached over for his sketch pad. Quickly, he tore out a page and handed it over to me.

"You're very pretty."

I stared, amazed at the drawing. This boy couldn't be more than fifteen and he'd drawn so… he'd drawn me and the buildings behind me phenomenally. It looked like a photograph. I couldn't even say anything; I was shocked into speechlessness. I simply stared at his work of art, stunned.

He played with his fingers nervously until he'd successfully tied them into knots, "I'm sorry if that is strange."

I laughed and put a hand to my chest, "Oh no, no! It's really sweet of you. This is amazing. Thank you so much."

He smiled, "I'm Luca."

"Caroline."

He picked up his pad and nodded respectfully before turning to leave.

"Luca?"

He turned back, eyebrows raised in question. I smirked and took a step forward, "Are you going to give that other girl her portrait too?"

His cheeks flushed a brilliant red, almost instantly and he began to stutter. I smiled and touched his shoulder gently, "You should."

He nodded, embarrassed. I grinned at him one more time and turned to leave.

More than once, on the walk home, I glanced down at the drawing Luca had given me. It was of me, sitting on the Spanish Steps, staring out at the crowd of people. I was the only one on the steps in the drawing and he'd drawn the building behind me perfectly, the detail exquisite. I was going to frame it when I returned to Mystic Falls.

The boy's words repeated in my head: _"You're very pretty."_

My heart swelled at his kindness. It was the small things in life that I'd have to rely on to keep me happy, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I'd manage. I realized, for the first time since it'd happened, that I could survive being in love with a Hybrid Original. Nobody would accept it and nobody would understand, but it didn't matter, because the people who loved me, would still love me no matter what. Klaus had gone anyways. He'd left Mystic Falls without a backwards glance and I was finally coming to terms with the fact that I wouldn't ever see him again. If I could handle the rest of this vacation, in this place that he'd offered to take me himself, I could handle never seeing him again. I'd adjust eventually.

I really hoped I did, anyways.

When I glanced up from Luca's picture again, I was standing in front of the hotel's garden entrance. I walked in quietly, enjoying even more, all the colors at sunset, bathed in the orangey light. Everything seemed to glow and my stomach flipped in joy. The garden was completely empty now and I sent a silent thank you to Klaus for tempting me to this place. He was the entire reason I was here and he'd continue to be the reason that I returned.

Gently, I set my drawing down on the concrete bench, putting a small rock over it so it wouldn't blow away, and went to sit on the edge of the smaller fountain. I dipped my fingers inside the water, sighing at the perfect temperature of it. I'd thought that it might be cold and that I'd have to get used to it, but it was just perfect.

"I never was one to be good with jealousy; such a nasty feeling."

My hand ceased to move in the water, my entire being solidified, including my thought process and the tainted blood running in my veins. I turned my head to find Klaus, holding my newly acquired drawing in his hand.

So quietly, I was sure even he couldn't here, I said, "You draw just as well."

His eyes finally looked up to meet mine and I sucked in a breath, a tear rolling down my cheek. I was almost positive that my dead heart restarted just then. I was a whirlwind of mixed emotions. I was angry: at that one tear. I was stronger than this. I shouldn't be crying, I should be making that damn Hybrid get on his knees and beg me to forgive him, for what… he probably didn't know. I was relieved: I hoped, prayed that I might see him here, even for just a moment. I was thrilled: thrilled to see him here, standing not six feet away from me. I was angry again: I'd just resolved to going on without him and here he was, screwing up all my hard work.

"I meant of the man who gave this to you."

My lifeless heart squeezed and I placed a hand on my stomach, trying to keep it from lurching forward.

"Why on earth would you be jealous?"

Klaus chuckled quietly, setting the piece of paper down and sticking his hands in his pockets. He faced me, a slight smile still dancing across his lips, but his expression mostly stunned at this point. He took a few steps until I looked him in the eyes. His grin turned melancholy and he spoke, "After all this time, you still don't see."

I turned my face away from him. Every solid thing inside of me was cracking, growing weaker and weaker until I feared I might cave in on myself. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. None of this was ever supposed to happen! I was supposed to be with Tyler, I was supposed to be in Mystic Falls, Klaus was supposed to be dead by now. I was never supposed to love the monster that had tortured my town for months. Everything was all wrong.

But when I looked at him… when I looked into his eyes, everything in the entire universe was right. I didn't see a vicious killer, but a vampire, like myself, an artist who cared deeply about his family, no matter the way he chose to show it. I saw the man who had 'daddy problems', just as I had. I saw the man I was hopelessly in love with.

It still didn't mean all was forgiven, it didn't mean he had my trust. So I stood, intent on stalking past him without another glance and grumbled, "Do not play games with me, Klaus."

His large hand wrapped around my bicep and I spun around, without really choosing to do so, our faces so close our breath mingled. His eyes flared darkly and his grip loosened on my arm. I stayed where I was, a little afraid to move, but not quite wanting to.

His fingers grazed my waist and I held back the shiver wracking down my spine. I placed my hands on his arms, intending to push him away, to give myself some room to think coherently, but that wasn't exactly how it turned out. My fingers wrapped around his arms and I held him close, whispering quietly, "How long have you been here? In Rome?"

His voice was quiet and soft, a beautiful melody to my aching soul.

"I have died every day, waiting for you."

What little breath left inside me, left me in a rush and my fingers dug into his arms, gripping him tighter, pulling him slowly to me.

"Why did you leave Mystic Falls… without me?"

His eyes glistened over and he took in a deep breath. A rough hand reached up to touch my face. His thumb grazed my cheek, his fingers holding me so graciously. He tilted his head and spoke in tones barely above a whisper, "After all the things I've done in my time on earth, I deserve you least of all."

I shook my head, silent, tortured tears rolling down my cheeks, "I don't care."

He sighed quietly, eyes still shining, "I should go, before I lose my sense of reason-"

I jumped, "No, please-"

He thumb traced over my lips with a feather light touch, silencing my pleading and he grinned wickedly, "But I won't."

I giggled hysterically and brought my hand up to his face. I cupped his strong jaw in my hand and he leaned into my touch, his eyes closing. I tried to physically convey the message that he was loved; that he would always be loved by one person in this world. My heart broke when I remembered our conversation the night of the ball. He feared being loved by no one, but I was determined to show him that his fear was pointless, because whether he wanted it or not, he would always have my love, my entire soul.

"I love you, Klaus." His eye opened sharply and he stared down, stunned. I smiled and moved closer to him, whispering with intense emotion, "I love you."

Slowly, so painfully slowly, our lips brushed and I whimpered, the strong girl I'd come to be, withering away in a matter of minutes. Klaus's hands wrapped firmly around my waist and pulled me flush against him. We were a tangle of arms as we explored each other, our movements frantic, but our kiss undeniably sweet.

Gradually, we pulled apart, but never ceasing to touch. He stared at me, his eyes boring down into mine, full of passion and emotions flying across them that I'd never seen on his face before. He wiped at my wet cheeks and grinned only slightly.

"I will love you for as long as I am on this earth, Caroline."

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><p><strong>AN: **_Thanks for reading, I reeeeally hope you enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think. Is it awful? PLEASE tell me if it is, lol. Thanks again! (:_


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